Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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