we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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