girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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