ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
