i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
