I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
