So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
