My nipple is on Facebook.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
