She's JV to your varsity
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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