imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
two words...techno handjob
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
