She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
