just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
