I just threw up on my dentist
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
