i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just had sex on a roof
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize