Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
