that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
