we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She needs sedatives and a leash
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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