Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
