He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
