she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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