brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I will pee on everything he values.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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