Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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