I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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