I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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