pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
