It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
