I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
