I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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