I just made out with a guy for $7.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You are a genius and a whore.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
