Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
