Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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