we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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