It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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