uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
