I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Randomize
