i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
be right there i have to get my cape
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
