would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
