Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
