So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
