I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
