"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
