Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize