i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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