he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Who died my cat blue again?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
