problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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