2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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