Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
is wine microwaveable?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
