so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
