i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
