just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize