And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
