There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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