question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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