i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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