He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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