Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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