just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
