If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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