Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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