I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
God, I missed his penis.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
