So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
