Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
