Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
