found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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