I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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