You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
