im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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