therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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