Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
