Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
